A tenant’s tale of the landlord from hell

Reprinted from the ABC’s the Drum Opinion, by David M Green. Read this story, along with readers’ comments, directly from the ABC website here.

Who hasn’t had to deal with a bad landlord at some point? From sparking heaters to pen-operated doors, David M Green shares his own experiences with a less-than ideal landlord.

Being a landlord is like being a parent. No qualifications are necessary. Anyone can become one, no matter what your level of complete incompetence.

And unfortunately if you’re the tenant, you’re the child in this relationship. If your landlord says you can’t dig in the backyard or hang that poster of your favourite band on the wall, those are the rules.

When we think of landlords, it conjures images of Victorian era dandy fops with stovepipe hats, grumbling about the price of coal. But the modern reality is landlords are just regular people. Regular people who own property.

What attracts someone to the wondrous world of landlordism? It’s surely the envisioned simplicity of the arrangement – You buy a house or an apartment. Someone else lives in it. They pay it off for you. And you don’t have to do anything. Besides watching the rent money roll in, of course.

And even better – after a few years of doing absolutely nothing, your property is worth even more! Sure beats working for a living.

If you are considering becoming a landlord, here’s a helpful video the New South Wales Government recently put together. My compliments on their choice of English voice actor.

We usually hear horror stories about the tenants from hell. But I don’t think I know a single person who hasn’t had to deal with a bad landlord at some point.

Maybe landlords should have to go through the same scrutiny that tenants have to go through before they can enter the rental market?

Bad landlords come in a number of forms. Category one is the “Extreme Lord”. Extreme landlords are all over you. They’re constantly round at the house, checking things, asking invasive questions, sticking their nose in your business and nitpicking every out-of-place carpet fibre at your all-too-frequent inspections.

One of the worst living arrangements has to be living right next door to your landlord. You’re effectively under constant supervision. They know when you’re sleeping. They know when you’re awake. They know when you’re practicing the drums. And if you live next door to your “Extreme” landlord, God help you.

The opposite to the Extreme Lord is the “Shadow Lord”. You can never get in contact with the Shadow Lord. They may as well not exist.

If you’ve got the unfortunate combination of living in a self-managed property under a Shadow Lord, you have my sympathy. There’s no real estate agent to help you either. Unless it’s to remind you, “You’ll have to call the landlord about that.” Good luck.

Then there’s the “Tight Lord”. If they’re not avoiding repairs, they’re DIY-ing it themselves to save money, or deducting it out of your bond.

I reckon when it comes to tight landlords, my landlord is tighter than a vice made from Chinese finger traps.

When my built-in electric heater started sparking, I immediately called my landlord. His reaction: “Oh, no, you shouldn’t be using that. Didn’t anyone tell ya?” He then reassured me by promising to “put a sign on it” next time he come round.

No need to replace the heater. Just put a sign on it. I can only assume the sign will say “out of order”, though “I need to fix this” would also be acceptable. Eight months later, I’m still waiting for a sign.

When the handle on my screen door broke, effectively locking the door, I was locked outside. Fortunately I had a pen with me, which I used to jimmy open the door. But then I was locked INside. I immediately called the landlord. He reassured me with some sound advice: “Just keep that pen on ya. And keep a screwdriver in your car.”

No need to replace the screen door that could potentially seal me inside my apartment in the event of a fire. Just keep a screwdriver in my car. I used the screwdriver to remove the screen door.

But by far the most entertaining encounter with my landlord came when I finally met him. I’d been living there for 10 months – no inspection, no sign on the heater – when I saw some more sparks. This time they were coming from my circa 1968 fuse box, which proposed a serious fire hazard.

I immediately called the landlord. I suggested a qualified electrician take a look at it. My unqualified landlord insisted he look instead. He came over and literally almost electrocuted himself when he attempted to install a fuse while the main power was still switched on. An electrician was organised within the hour.

So from my ordeal, I can only conclude the way to turn your bad landlord into a good one is through a mild electric shock or near death experience.

David M. Green is a 25-year-old comedian, freelance writer, voice-actor and presenter – originally from Adelaide, now based in Melbourne. View his full profile here

3 thoughts on “A tenant’s tale of the landlord from hell

  1. Urgent appeal to whom it may concern hell-bent regime tormented people!

    Tormented tenants struggle to tackle ordeal as corrupt officials colluded …

    Just to let you know, disenfranchised citizens of the targeted accommodation ordeal are very troubled by the Dept of Housing disregard Tenants’ Union petition alike their avoidance RTA’s dispute resolution venue. As instead of their duty-of-care, inured Dept of Housing carried-on with its incessant adversary demeanour. Utilising barbaric terror tactics, instead of making clear to the baffled public-housing-inhabitants, how the purported “overcrowding” emanated?

    When same, two human beings inhabited same premises since Aug 1998

    Ever since Ms Soonton’s health deteriorated Mr Braun was her primary carer who had also to take care of his own health problems by venturing abroad. Before Mr Braun’s scheduled return on 20-10-12, five days earlier, Officer of Brisbane Central Area Office rebuffed Ms Soonton on 15-10-12 due to the alleged “overcrowding”. Supposedly caused by Mr Braun’s lodging in the spacious 14m² living-room within the modern 60m² unit.

    Hence on his return few days later Mr Braun appealed on 23-10-12 to the Minister for Housing Dr Flegg. While seeking also a meeting with the Member for Brisbane Central. MP responsible for the Public Housing, yet to no avail. Having no other alternative, Ms Soonton submitted “New Household Member” notification to the Dept of Housing on 09-11-12. Ignored by the Brisbane Central Area Manager, who solely “thanked” TUQ official (in her 03-12-12 dated email) apropos 29-11-12 dated petition.

    No other communication from the Dept of Housing (hell-bent to tough it out) apart from the verbal rebuff on 26-11-12 by the rude official. Who shut a phone when Mr Braun attempted to convey that TUQ petition was about to address the disagreement. Instead, 26-11-12 dated Notice to Remedy Breach was issued to Ms Soonton: “Exceeding the approved number of occupants as stated in your State Tenancy Agreement”!

    What actually wasn’t factual, since the State Tenancy Agreement signed by Ms Soonton on 12-02-01, neglected to define: “Maximum number of persons allowed to reside on the premises”. Unlike the prior State Tenancy Agreement signed on 21-01-99 by Mr Braun & Ms Soonton, stipulated 2 persons. Housed in one-bedroom unit as a defacto partners until July 2000, and separated under one roof since Apr 2006.

    Sanctioned by the Dept of Housing over the years!

    Setting thus precedent that warrants Mr Braun’s reinstatement as a resident at the targeted premises. Vitally as a primary carer for Ms Soonton, who remains in a very precarious state of health. Sadly, no empathy from the Dept of Housing, who dumped Mr Braun from the wait-list for public housing on 25-08-08, while declaring: “You have been assessed as being adequately and appropriately housed”, then having chutzpah to claim that the same one-bedroom unit was overcrowded, due to Mr Braun’s lodging.

    Obviously rigged on the false pretences by the untouchables!

    Who exercised sadism reflexes with the impunity, adamant to bury alive the law-abiding-citizens because of the principled stance taken for the better Australia. Although current Minister for Housing Tim Mander confirmed in his letter on 11-12-12, that Mr Braun “was deemed to be appropriately housed. Therefore your application for public housing was cancelled”! So how being prior “adequately and appropriately housed” in 2008, becomes synonymous with “overcrowding” in 2012?

    Overcrowding impact – on whom?

    Qui bono?

    It’s so illogical to suggest that a change in relationship status can all of a sudden bring about a situation of “overcrowding”. Sanctioned by the Dept of Housing over the years! Of course to resolve such a macabre was vital to show true testimonies, actually issued by the Dept of Housing since Aug 1998. Clearly a winnable case, if not for the absence ethical lawyer. Who to apply given powers, whatever it takes to compel the recalcitrant Dept of Housing to face the evidence!

    Just as inured Dept of Housing was adamant to dislodge Mr Braun. Utilising brute force to inflict terror on the defenceless citizens. Whatever it takes to tackle spurious “overcrowding” by the Dept of Housing, where duty-of-care must have been “high” on agenda! Nevermind there are many one-bedroom units in Public Housing, occupied by the duo singles.

    It’s just a matter of time before Dept of Housing to be compelled to release actual occupants count within the one-bedroom units (of course those paying the rent). So why on earth, living arrangement of separated under one roof, have been targeted and so relentlessly torpedoed? Why a law abiding citizen in his twilight years to hit the road, sprawled with homeless?

    On a mission impossible to secure any alternative public housing for 66 year old senior citizen. Otherwise useful to provide vital support to the principal tenant, 56 year old Sue Soonton. Ovarian cancer sufferer, metastasised stage IIIC papillary serous carcinoma. Nonetheless compelled to face the barbaric tactics: “You are legal tenant, if you do not remedy this breach … the Dept will issue a Notice to Leave, giving you two weeks to vacate”!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    PS: Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) scheduled hearing on 19-03-13, Claim 0019/13 Soonton + Braun -v- Dept of Housing & Public Works. Sadly, QCAT that meant to be a self-representative jurisdiction seems to grant routinely the privilege of legal representation to State Govt Depts and its Agencies: “QCAT is reluctant to bite the hand that feeds it”, echoed blogosphere. At the time when a lay person in dire straits couldn’t get any lawyer. None of the Law Society recommended, responded positively. Neither community legal centres such as: TAAS, TUQ, QPILCH or Caxton cared to offer a lawyer. Hence the timely recommended lawyer would be much appreciated.

  2. Thanks for your post in response to our story.

    As the Save Tenant Services website is primarily to raise awareness of the TAAS re-funding campaign, we are unable to give specific advice in relation to your matter. However, you might find the following tips useful for your QCAT hearing:
    1. If tenants are self-represented and are appearing against a government agency such as the Department of Housing, those tenants can object to the Department being represented by a solicitor; and,
    2. if QCAT allows the government agency to be represented by a solicitor, tenants who are-represented might have a limited right of appeal.

    For advice you can contact the TUQ statewide advice line on 1300 744 263, or your local TAAS, if you wish to obtain advice in relation to your QCAT hearing. Good luck.

  3. Thanks for the Lead Organiser’s tips!

    In fact, Dept of Housing was represented by the Housing Officer Rebecca, accompanied by the Senior Housing Officer Tania (“delegated a day earlier to handle the case”). The Hearing was opened by the Honourable Adjudicator Jeremy Gordon, who invited the applicants to outline the nature of application 0019/13 for the hearing at QCAT. Consequently, the principal tenant Ms Soonton spelled out loud-and-clear the circumstances of the targeted accommodation ordeal.

    Where instead of the expected duty-of-care, Dept of Housing carried-on with the incessant, adversary demeanour. Inflicting anguish on Ms Soonton and devastation on Mr Braun. Instead of making clear to the baffled public-housing-inhabitants, how the purported “overcrowding” emanated? Amazingly, no formally issued policy apropos was ever conveyed. Nonetheless Ms Soonton had been bullied since the verbal rebuff by the Housing Officer Rebecca on 15-10-12. Who didn’t produce any evidence at the hearing, yet still maintained that such a policy existed.

    Then when questioned about the “Notice to Remedy Breach”, issued to Ms Soonton on 26-11-12: “Exceeding the approved number of occupants as stated in your State Tenancy Agreement”! What actually wasn’t factual, since the State Tenancy Agreement signed by Ms Soonton on 12-02-01, neglected to define the: “Maximum number of persons allowed to reside on the premises”. Surprisingly, ultimatum invoking Rebecca sat silent, while the Officer Tania blamed “clerical error”! In spite of the set president in the prior State Tenancy Agreement, signed on 21-01-99 by Mr Braun & Ms Soonton, which stipulated 2 persons. Housed in one-bedroom unit as a defacto partners until July 2000, and separated under one roof since April 2006.

    Apparently, Mr Braun who awaited for public housing since Sept 2002, couldn’t locate accommodation at the time, so he had a major chat with his ex partner apropos letting him to lodge in her place. Once received departmental consent, Ms Soonton submitted New Household Member Form on 12-04-06. Consequently, Dept of Housing started charging combined rent, only to dump Mr Braun from the wait-list for public housing while declaring on 25-08-08: “You have been assessed as being adequately and appropriately housed”. Then having chutzpah to insist since 15-10-12 that the precisely same one-bedroom unit was “overcrowded”, due to Mr Braun’s lodging.

    So how being prior “adequately and appropriately housed” in 2008, becomes synonymous with “overcrowding” in 2012? Overcrowding impact — on whom? It’s so absolutely illogical to suggest that a change in relationship status can all of a sudden bring about a situation of “overcrowding”! Incredibly, sanctioned by the Dept of Housing over the years! Of course to resolve such a macabre — over 70 page elaborated testimonies were submitted to QCAT to demonstrate what actually was issued by the Dept of Housing since Aug 1998. Presented to the Minister for Housing and Qld Ombudsman, to no avail. So someone had to compel such an utterly impregnable Dept of Housing to face the evidence in these circumstances!

    Take notice that the application 0019/13 was heard before Queensland Civil & Administrative Tribunal at Brisbane on the 19 March 2013 and the following decision was made! “It is order that: the Form 11c (notice to remedy breach) is set aside because the Department was not entitled under the terms of the tenancy agreement to give it”. Which paves the way for Mr Braun’s reinstatement as a legit resident, once Dept of Housing processes the long overdue Ms Soonton’s 09-11-12 dated application for the “New Household Member”… http://www.crikey.com.au/2012/11/15/are-we-really-failing-the-homeless-crunching-the-new-data/#comment-228818